


We Choose to Believe in Ourselves, and Each Other

by apathetic_asian



Category: Pacific Rim (2013), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Apocalypse, Blatant Quoting of Movie, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rating May Change, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-05 23:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apathetic_asian/pseuds/apathetic_asian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean/Castiel Pacific Rim AU. After losing his brother and co-pilot, Dean Winchester is lost, alone, and bitter. After Marshall Singer brings him to Hong Kong to pilot the Impala, he meets Castiel, Bobby's protege and perhaps his co-pilot.</p><p>Note: There's no need to have seen Pacific Rim before this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nothing Really Lasts

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this is a new series I am working on, I have no idea how long it's gonna be, but I will update as much as I can. Go easy on me, I'm still new to this whole fanfiction writing thing. This was based off of a gifset I saw on tumblr (which I did not make, I honestly do not have the skill). The link to that is at the end of this chapter. Please enjoy and comment, feedback would be wonderful. Thanks guys!  
> -Mimi

                Becoming a Jaegar pilot was probably the best thing that ever happened to him. After the Kaiju attacked San Francisco when their family was vacationing there and Mary was killed, John went a little... well... crazy. To say that he didn't take his wife's death well was an understatement. After moving them around the country for a couple of years, his liver decided enough was enough, and Dean and Sam were on their own. They were never the best athletes, or the best students. They moved around too much for that. Sam was wicked smart though, and Dean had his own brand of intelligence. However, if there was one thing to thank their former-marine father for, it was his near manic training after Mary died. They would drill day after day. Hand to hand combat, weapons training, and whatever else he would think of that day. If nothing else, he and Sam could hold their own in a fight. And that was what kept them fed and clothed after their father passed away.

                Bobby Singer was an old friend of their fathers from his army days. Well, "friend" was a stretch; the two couldn't be in the same room together without trying to kill each other. But Bobby knew them, and he cared for them. After Mary's death, he became like a second father to them. Bobby hadn't retired when John did, and now he was in charge of the Jaegar program operating out of Alaska, of all the places. Still, they needed shelter and food, and becoming a Jaegar pilot was probably the best option there was. And, as a bonus, he and Sam were drift compatible, so Bobby pulled some strings and they became co-pilots. It was more than he could've asked for. He had Sam, he had a purpose, and he was saving lives. Plus, it was something he was good at. He understood the mechanics of the Jaegar better than the engineers, and sometimes, he was tempted to go into the R&D department. But that meant leaving Sam, and he couldn't do that.

                Now, half a decade later, he really couldn't imagine what would've happened to them without the help of Bobby. They were unstoppable, being shipped around the world to help save people. They were heroes, and there really wasn't a better feeling than that. Until everything changed.

                He should've known, really, nothing ever went right forever, especially if your last name was Winchester. It started out normal, as normal as days like this could be. The alarm sounding in the goddamn middle of the night, "Jaegar Impala team, report to Bay 08, I repeat report to Bay 08. Kaiju, code named Nightfang, category three," and that stupid incessant beeping noise that was really getting to him. Sam, little ball of joy he was, was up almost immediately. "Yo Dean, theres movement in the breach," No response. "DEAN we're being deployed!"

                "Okay, I'm up. Samantha, no need to get your panties in a bunch," he mumbled

                "Good morning to you too, Jerk."

                "What time is it?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

                "Two."

                "AM?"

                "Yep," Sam said, grabbing a carton of orange juice from their fridge and chugging it straight out of the bottle.

                "Son of a bitch," he groaned, but obediently began to make his way to the attached bathroom. At the last second he turned around and grinned to Sam, "Hey kid,"

                "Yeah?"

                "Don't get cocky," he laughed, and shut the door.


	2. We've Got Work to Do

                 Getting suited up was probably his least favorite part of the whole thing. Or the drop, you know, that kinda sucked too. Falling from a few hundred feet in the air in a metal machine onto another metal machine, not exactly happy happy fun times. Sam always made fun of him for it, and this time was certainly no exception. "Relax Dean, nothing bad is gonna happen, you want me to hold your hand while we do the drop?" Sam taunted.

                "Shut it, bitch," he muttered.

                "Make me, jerk," he replied.

                As soon as they were connected to the rest of the Jaegar, Ash's voice rang through their comms, "Hellloooo, Winchesters, and good morning to you guys," Dean grinned. Ash was probably the best communications officer they could've gotten. He had the craziest mullet and the strangest sense of humor. However, he was good at what he did, and he hadn't failed them yet.

                "Ash, my man, how did last night's date with Pamela go?" Dean asked.

                "Well you know, I worked my charm. She loved me. Her boyfriend? Not so much," Ash answered.

                Sam laughed, "You're gonna get your ass kicked."

                "A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do."

                "Stop messin' around ya idjits, I pay you to work, not to gossip like a bunch of old ladies," Marshall Singer cut in.

                "Yessir," Ash cleared his throat, "Pilots, get ready for pilot to pilot interface, prepare for neural handshake,"

                The initial moment of connection was always jarring, no matter how much practice he and Sam had at it. The rush of memories that weren't your own, the feeling of sharing your brain with someone else -- it was intense. The good thing about having  an unhealthy codependent relationship with your brother, though, is that most of your memories are the same. He and Sam had not only grown up together, but they were never away from each other for more than a couple hours. The memories that came with the drift were almost identical to his own, just from another point of view. Getting slammed back into reality was no slice of pie either.

                "Left hemisphere calibrating,"

                "Right hemisphere calibrating,"

                "Let's do this Sammy," he grinned at Sam.

                "It's Sam," was his brother's response.

                "Alright gentlemen, your mission is to hold the miracle mine of Anchorage, you copy?" Bobby's voice rang through the comms.

                "Copy, Sir," he replied.

                "Sir, there is still a civilian vessel in the gulf--" Sam started,

                "Boys, you're protecting a city of two million people," Bobby cut in, "you will not risk those lives for a boat that holds ten, am I clear?"

                "Clear, Sir." Dean replied.

                Sam gave him a bitchface, "What the hell Dean, you know we can't just let them die."

                "You're in my head, dumbass," Dean told him, "You know what I'm thinking. God knows why people think you're the smart one."

                Sam stopped for a minute, breaking down that mental barrier that held his brother's thoughts at bay. It was a technique they had developed, to give each other as much privacy as possible while in the drift when they weren't fighting. "Oh," he muttered once he saw what Dean was planning. "Well, then let's go fishing."                

* * *

 

                Piloting a Jaegar isn't as glamorous as it's cut out to be. Most of the time, instead of fighting a Kaiju, you're trudging underwater trying to get to the Kaiju. It's a bitch to get a hundred ton hunk of metal to move through water, and most of it is the pilots' job.

                "C'mon jerk," Sam was huffing, "Put some muscle into it, you're hardly doing anything."

                "Shut your cakehole, bitch," Dean replied, "I'm doin' more work than you,"

                They were both sweating, pumping their legs and arms, trying to hurry the Jaegar up, to get to their destination. It seemed like a century before they resurfaced and slammed the Jaegar's fist into the kaiju's ugly mug. When it was trying to reorient itself, he picked up the fishing boat and set it to the side, before turning back to the kaiju. He slammed his fist into the kaiju's shoulder, and Sam began charging up the plasma cannon. He kept it occupied before Sam zapped it in the mouth. The wave that resulted nearly knocked them back a step, but the job was done.

                "What the hell did I tell you, ya idjits?" Bobby yelled through the comms.

                "With all due respect, old man," Dean panted, "We took down the kaiju and saved a whole city."

                Sam grinned, and reached out to give him a fist bump.

                "Get the hell back here, I'm done with the both of you"

                "Yessir"

                They began to turn back before the comms sparked to life again. "Boys, that kaiju is still alive. IT'S STILL ALIVE," Bobby's voice rang out.

                They turned around in time to see the kaiju launch itself at them. Caught off guard, they stumbled backwards, hitting the water. He tried to swing his arm, but it was knocked away. It attacked again, this time ripping a chunk out of the robot. Pain shot up his arm. He cried out, and heard Sam yell, "Dean, Dean are you okay?"

                "Fine, Sammy, let's get this son of a bitch."

                Together, they charged the beast again. He powered up the plasma cannon for the second time and tried to zap it, but he missed his mark. The kaiju reared up and slammed into them, roaring and spitting acid. It pinned them down before tearing the arm off of his side of the Jaegar. It felt like fire was licking up his arm, burning him alive, opening his skin up to the nerves and pouring salt into the wound. Rain began pouring into the Jaegar from the hole that the kaiju ripped. He heard himself scream, and Sam's frantic words.

                "Dean! DEAN!"

                "It's okay Sammy, it's okay," he tried to reassure him.

                "No Dean, listen to me, you gotta---"

                And then, screams, as the kaiju ripped Sam from the Jaegar.

                Anguish, fear, and a roller coaster of other emotions. The only coherent thoughts were, _Dean, Dean, please, help, Dean, help me! Please, dear god, no, DEAN! DEAN! I NEED YOU! DEAAAN!!!_ Then it all stopped.

                _S-Sammy?_ It felt like a chunk of him had gotten ripped away. Sam was dead, his little brother was dead. Years of hearing, _take care of Sammy, protect your brother, make sure Sammy's okay,_ and he fucked up. His one job, and he had failed. Again. The way he failed at everything. And this time, he had failed his brother too.

                The kaiju was still alive, and it was turning its attention back to Dean. Focus, he thought to himself. You have to focus. If he fucked this up and a city of nearly two million people died, Sammy would be so... disappointed. _We've got work to do._ That was what he said after a falling out with Dad. It's what Sam always said after a mission where they couldn't save everybody. He said it when Dean was low and would try to drown himself in alcohol and sex. _We've got work to do._

                He forced himself over to Sam's side, and grabbed his controller. Gritting his teeth and trying to think past the pain. _We've got work to do._ He raised two hands above his head and brought it down on the Kaiju's head. _We've got work to do._ He charged up the plasma cannon with one hand and used the other to hit the thing and keep it in place. _We've got work to do._ He zapped the thing, and with one last guttural cry, it sank back into the ocean.

                He couldn't remember much as he forced himself to pilot the Jaegar back onto the coast of Alaska. His thoughts were a swirling mess, but mostly, he just heard Sammy's screams, his pleas for help. He couldn't even save his own brother, what right did he have to keep living? There was ringing in his ears, and everything was starting to blur. He thought he heard someone asking him if he was okay. He didn't know for sure. Sammy was dead, oh god, Sammy was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my beta Arpita! Sorry for keeping you up so late to edit my crappy writing!


	3. Fixing Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahg, this took a while, and it’s the longest thing I’ve written to date. I’m not extremely happy with how it turned out, but meh. I might not update for a while because midterms are coming up and my teachers are evil as hell and are cramming everything in for the next few weeks. Michael is not really an asshole in this fic, because I’ve always liked him for some reason (maybe because all of his vessels are hot as fuck) but yeah! Enjoy!!

5 years later

                He was always good at building things. It seemed like it was genetically ingrained in him to try and fix things, though really, nothing that he fixed ever lasted. After Sammy's death, he ran away. He couldn't stand the thought of getting into a Jaegar again without Sammy; it was like missing an essential part of him, like an arm or a leg. So, after he was released from the hospital, he left. He stopped by their shared bunker in the shatterdome and collected his things, and he disappeared. He didn't say goodbye to Bobby, or Ash, or anyone else. He didn't think he could stand to look any of them in the eyes and see the pity, or worse, the disappointment. So he left. The only viable option was the Wall of Life. If he wanted food in his belly or a warm place to sleep, he would have to work on the Wall. This way, he told himself, he would still be helping people... just not directly. So he moved with the wall. He didn't make friends, he kept to himself, and he tried to move on. If he was going to be honest with himself, he wasn't doing that well. But part of being Dean Winchester was telling people you were fine, even if "people" was yourself.

                Today, he was in Sitka, Alaska, freezing his balls off. The work wasn't so bad, just welding pieces of metal together to form the wall. They called it the Wall of Life. Ironic, since so many men died to build the it. And it turns out the damned thing doesn't even really ward against kaijus. He listened to the news reporter drone on about the Sydney attack, and how the kaiju broke through the wall like it was tissue paper. Really, why the hell were they building this wall anyway?

                "Ironically, it was the recently decommissioned Jaegar, Morningstar, piloted by the Grace brothers, that finally brought the kaiju down,"

                The newsreport cut to an interview scene with the younger brother, Luce.

                 "Look, the bigwigs decommissioned the Jaegar program because of second rate pilots, it's pretty simple." He looked into the camera and gave a charming smirk. "That's Lucy's twentieth kill to date, it's a new record."

                His brother elbowed him in annoyance. "Oh sorry, Morningstar," he rolled his eyes. "Still a new record."

                The news reporter went on to ask them about going to Hong Kong, but Dean zoned out. Even though the bastard on screen seemed like a grade A devil, what he said struck a nerve. Second-rate. If he were better, he would've been able to save Sam. But he wasn't. He could've--- He stopped himself. Better not go down that road, his liver probably couldn't take another round of self-loathing fueled drinking.

                The rhythmic beating of helicopter blades caught his attention, and he walked towards the entrance. Bobby, the last person he would've expected to show up in this dump.

                "Hey, Bobby," Well, this was awkward. He hadn't spoken to the man since Sammy's death nearly three years ago, and he hadn't exactly said good-bye to the man when he left. Which probably pissed Bobby off, and a pissed Bobby was a scary Bobby. That was a lesson he'd learned very quickly. Bobby glared at him and didn't say anything for a while. _Oh shit, oh shit._ He ran a hand through his hair and was probably about to do something drastic, like fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness, before Bobby cuts off those thoughts.

                "Ya dumb idjit," the old man grumbled before pulling him into a hug. "You ever pull a stunt like that again: I will chop you into so many pieces they will never find them all. We're family, boy, you think you can just up and leave like that and no one would worry?"

                Damn, were those tears? "Thanks Bobby," he whispered. Then he cleared his throat. "Hey, no chick flick moments, right?"

                Bobby shook his head. "Glad to see even three years later you're still as dumb as ever,"

                "Why're you here, old man?" he asked

                "It ain't a social visit son. I've spent the last couple of months trying to activate every Jaegar I could get my hands on." He paused, looking for a reaction. Dean felt his stomach drop when he realized what Bobby was saying.

                "No, Bobby. I can't do that again. After Sam--- I just, I don't think I could have anyone else in my head ever again."

                "Look, I know Sam's death was hard on you--" he began.

                "No, it wasn't _hard_. It was excruciating, like losing your own limbs. I ain't goin' through that, not again," he deflated at the end. "I'm sorry, Bobby. I'm not your man for this,"

                As he walked away he heard Bobby yell out, "You stupid, stupid son of a bitch. Well, boo-hoo! I am so sorry your feelings were hurt, princess! What were you expectin, when you signed up for this? Is this what Sam would've wanted, you mopin around like a Victorian woman that just lost her husband? You gonna sit here on your ass and do nothin while the world ends, and just give up? Dean Winchester, I figured you for a stronger man."

                 That hurt pretty bad. He sighed and turned towards Bobby again. "What's the job?"

* * *

 

                Bobby had told him that he was bringing back the pilot for the Mark 3 Jaegar that he had been assigned to restore. He'd seen the file dozens of times. Dean Winchester, twenty eight years old. Partner had been Sam Winchester, his brother, before being killed in action. The death of his brother had messed him up pretty badly, and he had disappeared without a trace, and was finally tracked down doing construction on the Wall of Life. And not hard on the eyes either, seeing the photograph on the file. But Castiel hadn't noticed that, not really. Alright, he did. But honestly, he had spent the last couple of months watching Dean's fighting skills and his strategies, it was hard work. And if he had a little eye candy to ease his work after a few hours, it was nobody's business. Seeing him in person was way different though; the photo had clearly been taken before Sam's death, and the Dean standing in front of him in the pouring rain looked much older. There were more lines around his eyes and mouth, and he looked more weighed down. Definitely a lot sadder, and more withdrawn. The last few years must have been extremely hard for him.

                After the introductions were made, they stood under the downpour, assessing each other. He turned to Bobby, and said in Russian, "He seems different from the file."

                Bobby rolled his eyes and was about to respond before he heard Dean call out "Hey," he grinned "Better or worse?"

                Crap, nowhere in the file did it say that Dean knew Russian. "My pardon, Mr. Winchester," he backtracked. "I've heard a lot about you from Bobby,"

                "Not all bad, I hope?"

                Bobby snorted, "Enough flirting you two, we've got work to do."

                Castiel felt himself flush, but turned away and began leading the way into the shatterdome, but not before seeing Dean wince at what Bobby said. As they entered the elevator, he heard Garth call out, "Wait, hold the elevator. Kaiju specimen coming through. They're very rare, so look but don't touch,"

                "This is Doctor Garth Fitzgerald and Doctor Kevin Tran," Castiel said.

                "Just call me Garth, no one calls me Doctor but my mom." Garth laughed and called to Kevin, "Hey Kev, come say hello, these are real human beings,"

                "I've told you I don't know how many times, it's Kevin." They immediately began bickering.

                Bobby sighed, "This is our research division,"

                Castiel saw Dean raise his eyebrows, but he kept his mouth shut as he glanced furtively over at Garth and Kevin. Garth had started rolling up his sleeves, revealing the kaiju tattoos he had on his arms. Dean pointed to one and asked, "Which one is that? Azazel?"

                "This little kaiju? Yeah, you got a good eye. Did you know he was one of the biggest category threes that we've ever had?"

                "My brother and I took him down during our third year."

                "Yep, two thousand five hundred tons of awesome!"

                At that, Dean's face went cold. And apparently, Garth noticed because he stuttered, "Or awful, you know, depending on how you look at it." 

                The smile that was beginning to build on Dean's face was gone, and he looked stony.

                Kevin cut in, "Excuse him, he's a kaiju groupie, he loves---"

                "Shut up Kevin, I don't love them," Garth cut in. "I study them. And unlike most people, I wanna see one alive one day."

                The elevator stopped and as he walked out, Castiel heard Dean say. "Trust me, you don't wanna."

* * *

 

                He really needed to stop being so fucking sensitive. So the nerdy short dude made a stupid comment, there wasn't any need to be such a girl about it. He needed to get his shit under control. He followed Cas and Bobby into the shatterdome. It was gorgeous, all polished and shining, bustling with activity. There were workers everywhere fixing parts, touching up the Jaegars, and transporting materials. Right above the entrance was a clock.

                "What's that?" he asked.

                "War clock, keeps everyone focused and in line," Bobby responded.

                Well that was chilling. "How long before the next attack?"

                "Perhaps a month? There are more and more attacks these days. Every time we kill one of the ugly bastards, another seems to take its place that much quicker."

                He took a good look at Bobby. Under the bright lights of the shatterdome, he saw that the old man looked haggard and tired. Running the shatterdome was taking its toll. There were more grey streaks in his hair and lines on his face.

                "This complex used to launch thirty Jaegars in five bays like this one, now we got four." He pointed towards a Jaegar painted red with fiery stripes. "Inferno Ronin. Piloted by those three ladies," He nods towards a group of three girls who were sitting by the Jaegar. "The one on the computer is Charlie Bradbury. Genius with computers, runs the technical aspect of the Jaegar. The other redhead is Anna Milton. And the blonde is Jo Harvelle. Those three successfully defended South Africa and the eastern coast of Africa ten times."

                "That one," Bobby said, walking towards the next Jaegar, "is Trickster Saber, piloted by Balthazar Roche and Gabriel Milton, Anna's half brother. It's the oldest Jaegar here, but it's still got plenty of fight left in it."

                "And if someone puts itching powder in your underwear, it's probably one of those two," Cas chimes in. He has a dark look on his face. Someone speaking from experience, probably. Dean has to stifle a laugh as he imagines Cas running around his room naked, trying to find relief. He quickly turned his mind away from that thought--walking with a boner would be awkward as hell. And it was bad for first impressions.

                The last Jaegar was the Morningstar, which he'd seen on the news. The two brothers were unpacking next to it, and Bobby led their little gang up to them.

                "Dean, this is Michael. I used to be his commanding officer during the Jaegar glory days before the idjit got himself promoted, now I can't order his ass around anymore," Bobby said.

                Michael smiled a little and shook Bobby's hand. "I was the rookie that was recruited straight out of the army. After the kaiju attacked, no one was looking to attack another country, so they had some of us become Jaegar pilots."

                "Michael, this is Dean. Dean, Michael," Bobby introduced.

                "It's nice to meet you, Dean." Michael said to him and stuck out a hand.

                He shuffled his bags around before taking it and giving it a firm pump. "Likewise."

                "Lucifer, come say hello," Michael called out to his brother.

                "Lucifer?" he whispered to Cas.

                "Their family was pretty religious," Cas murmurs back. "Named their kids after angels. Michael got pretty lucky, being the oldest and being named after the oldest archangel. Luce, not so much."

                Dean laughed, his mood lifting. Then he met Lucifer, who turns out was named quite aptly, because the motherfucker was the devil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Arpita for reading through my writing even though you're busy as hell. And sorry for all the false hope as to when this chapter was gonna be finished.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the wonderful gifset. I did not make it, and all credit goes to the maker. http://mimiy97.tumblr.com/post/71026234788/blizzardbride-deancas-pacific-rim-an-au


End file.
